On October 25th, 2013 it happened to me. It was my second year at the University of Toledo. I had a killer apartment in downtown Toledo with friends who occupied the penthouse above. Toledo is known for it’s amazing Zombie Crawl that happens down Adams Street. The penthouse was filled with people doing each other’s zombie makeup and cutting up old clothes to get ready to fill the bars with the dead coming back to life. While getting ready, I enjoyed a few glasses of cheap wine. I was taking it easy that night because the next day was my friend’s birthday and she had extravagant plans to venture the bars of downtown Cleveland.
I was sexually abused by my brother between the ages of 10-11. There was so much silence, that now, even though I am almost 30, I still scream silently. There are few words for the wounds he has left me with, so often I draw and paint to try and let something out.
I honestly think that almost every girl or woman will experience a rape in her lifetime. It might be the worst thing that ever happens to her, but the closest people to her may never know because she may never tell anyone, ever. She may suffer quietly and keep everything to herself. That’s her right. Rape is a terrible thing. But I’ve never been the, “suffer in silence” type. No, I suffer loudly.
Tis the night of Christmas and all through the woods a tiny creature lurks to do no good.
Shadows & Fear hung in the air in the hopes that Death soon would be there.
Over the hill hanging near the tree, the sounds of screams soon found me.
I took off like a shot, running for my life, but that creature grew nearer, in my mind, out of spite.
The devilish moon hung low in the sky dancing about, coaxing me to die.
This piece represents the inner power - that no matter how much anyone has hurt us emotional and physically, that at the core we are never broken - that we are beautiful, powerful beings of light. We may be scarred but we are powerful beyond measure. As a piece it reminds us of are true divinity, that god is within us and that no-one can take that from us.
*TRIGGER WARNING* A man tormented by the voice in his head, must confront his abusive past to save a young boy from suffering the same fate. Confession is a true story that hopes to inspire others to listen, speak out and to understand the issues related to sexual abuse.
I hope it kills you to see me, and your stomach sinks like mine.
I hope it’s your biggest regret and relief is hard to find.
I hope that drink makes you think of me and how because of you my life has changed.
You’ve made your way into every dilemma; everything twisted, and rearranged.
From the darkness grew a seed, whose life began in the blood red hands of the abusers who froze her heart. The black butterflies represent the Monarch programming style use of abuse methods used by the Ministers who ran the cult I grew up on as a child.